Choked Away

From Rob Stearns

Today I was reminded of how stupid I am. I was reminded that I’ll never be what I cold be if I keep getting in the way of letting God work in my life. I’m a slow learner. I heard a sermon today about the “Parable of the Soils.” I couldn’t help but be convicted by the third type of soil…the person who hears the word, listens to it. Grasps it. And then screws it all away.

Finds ways to let his potential get choked away by worry, by ego, by allowing the thorns to choke him away.

I wish I could point the finger of blame towards somebody or something else in this matter. But I know better.

Choked Away

I choke my life away.

Decisions to run,

in compromise to sink.

I choke it all away.

My dreams I choke,

never a chance given

to grow.

To grow.

I worry.

Worry my life away,

choke my future

by wringing my hands.

I count my worth,

I compare my kingdom.

I choke my future

in a sea of wealth,

vanity for myself.

My wants I adhere,

my decisions I adore.

My ego grows.

Around me it snakes

like a vine,

a vine of thorns.

I choke it all away.

and I hear nothing more

but the gasps,

my gasps

of desperation or desolation.

Of me choking my life away.

Mouths Like Trumpets

Your words…they are eternal life.” – From the album Mouths like Trumpets

One of the great joys for me since Consumed Ministries moved to MN was having the chance to meet singer/songwriter Brad Kilman.  A year after we moved to MN we sensed God leading us to host a Consumed Conference in Des Moines, IA.  We met with a number of church leaders in IA a few months before the conference and sensed their enthusiasm for the conference.  We believed this enthusiasm would result in a pretty good attendance for the first ever Consumed conference in the state of IA.

Meanwhile Gretchen kept telling me about an in-law of her best friend growing up – Amy Bottomly, and how he writes and leads music for his church in Oklahoma City.  So I called this songwriter/lead worshipper Brad Kilman and asked if he would be interested in joining us for the Des Moines Conference and leading the music side of things.  He agreed to come and I was looking forward to seeing how God would use him at the conference.  Well as the conference approached we were quickly realizing that God wasn’t going to bring in hundreds or thousands of college students.  At our opening session we were lucky to have 30 in the room and 10 of them were somehow related to Gretchen.  Another 5 or so were friends of Gretchen’s family and there were 7-8 Consumed volunteers as well.  I think we had 8 students total that showed up.  When I met Brad I was pretty ashamed at the puny attendance we had at the conference and apologized for having him there away from his family to lead an extremely tiny group of people in musical worship to God.  He told me it was completely OK and that he was glad to be with us.  At that moment I was a little skeptical of the sincerity of his words and thought that maybe he was just saying the kind and appropriate thing.  But when our first session began, I learned very quickly the heart behind the man that held the guitar on that stage.  Brad closed his eyes and began playing/singing as if he was the only one in the room.  I truly believed at that moment that there could have been 5 people or 5000 people in that room and Brad would have acted the exact same way.  I knew at that moment I liked this guy.  I am a person that appreciates sincerity, realness, and passion.  Brad is all of those things.

For the past few years I have regularly listened to his first album “Clouds are Forming” and have greatly benefited from his lyrics.  And now I am blessed once again because the release of Brad’s 2nd album “Mouths Like Trumpets” has happened.  I ordered the album a few weeks ago and have listened to it nonstop.  Brad’s heart for God and the church shines through the music and lyrics.  It is rare that I truly enjoy every song on an album but I can honestly say I resonate with each of them.  Every song speaks to me in a unique way.  I believe it is because there is so much truth from God’s Word permeating the songs.  I have found myself singing along…praying these words over myself and others I know.

Obviously I am writing this post because I believe you will benefit greatly from purchasing this album as well.  You can do so HERE.  I promise it will speak to you as well!